Solitude

     Solitude is hard to come by in my house. We have two young children, two young adults and my husband and I. From daylight to dark the children play. They steal your heart and demand your attention. So when a rare incident of solitude comes, it is often wasted on trying to figure out what to do while I have it. I have a list of things I want to do and need some quiet time in order to do them. I want to practice writing on a daily basis and start getting the novels that rattle around in my head on paper. I want to practice drawing and spend time creating portraits of my grandchildren. I like to read and listen to audio books on my I-pod, something I try to do all the time, but without solitude, I can’t hear my books very well.

     Today is one of the rare days when I have several hours of solitude. I was in shock for the first hour and then I begin to wonder what to do with it. I thought of taking a much needed nap and I did lie down for a few minutes but I did not sleep. I thought of writing on one of my novels, but I couldn’t decide where to begin. I thought about drawing and practicing shading but I really did not want to drag out my supplies not knowing when I would have to put them up again. Out of sight, out of mind, once the grandchildren know where my supplies are, they will be gone forever.

     What did I do with my solitude then? I spent it quietly with my computer, working on my books and talking with my husband from time to time. Then of course, I began to miss the grandchildren and the steady noise they bring to the house. It is now too quiet to do anything. How can this be? I have waited for free time for so long and once I have it, I don’t know what to do with it! I think I am going to finish my writing, check my email, check my Facebook and then take a nice long hot shower and go to bed. I have had enough solitude for the day!