According to my doctor, I should weigh 145 pounds for my height, maybe as much as 155 with my frame. I have been searching for myself since I became disabled and no longer able to work in 2008. I had a real identity crisis. I have always been a workaholic and worked two full time jobs for many years. Losing the ability to work, I no longer knew who I was and where I belonged in the world. Although my weight is not the reason for my disability, it contributes to in many ways. One day I woke up and realized I could not find myself because there was just too much…me! I began to work on changing my lifestyle because I had tried diets many times over and lost weight, only to gain it back, plus a few extra pounds, once the diet was over. I realized I needed to make a change.
At the point I began to work on this problem, I weighed in at 383 pounds. I am sure at some point I was over 400 pounds because that is my scale limit and for a long time, when I stepped on the scales, instead of getting a weight, I got and E. Now if you want to know what it is like to be fat, take two pre-teens and an infant and carry them on your back and belly for a complete day. At the end of the day you will see how hard it is for a fat person to get around. This is the equivalent of what I carry every day. Since I was already in school, working on another degree, I decided to take Nutrition and see if I could learn easier ways of losing weight. My disability limits me on exercise, so I am doing this the very hard way.
I decided I wanted to have the gastric by-pass done in order to help me lose enough weight to have some necessary surgeries I need on my knees. Once I contacted the Bariatric Center, they signed me up for an appointment with a dietitian, which also helped with jump starting my weight loss. In order for insurance to cover the gastric bypass, a person has to go through a six month diet and exercise program with their doctor and have documented results. Today I finished my last visit of the six month program. I will be heading for the surgery soon, but first I have to have some more tests done. I am waiting on appointments for my tests and to see the surgeon to go over the procedure I will be having.
So, why change my lifestyle if I am having surgery anyway? Simple, it is to keep myself healthy after the weight loss. Contrary to what people think, it is possible to cheat the surgery and gain back the weight. Changing my lifestyle will guarantee that I will stay healthy and remain at a decent healthy weight. On my visit today, I found that I lost 8 more pounds. I have been losing 5 – 8 pounds a month and keeping it steady with the exception of once, when I gained a few pounds and had to lose them again. When I began, I could not sit in a chair with arms on it. I simply did not fit, and if I tried to sit on part of the chair, it caused unbearable pain. Two months ago, I had the opportunity to sit in a regular chair with arms on it and the amazing thing was I fit in it. Comfortably! This was a very pleasant surprise and it gave me the incentive to work even harder.
Today I realized I am finding myself, I am finding out I am a much stronger person than I ever thought I could be. I have a new outlook on many things. I have some hobbies and interests that I want to pursue while waiting for my surgeries that will allow me to go back to work. I am going to work on getting a schedule to get myself back into the groove of working so many hours a day. During this time I will work on finding myself. I am working on a few books, I need to get down to brass tacks and get their rough drafts done. I am also working on drawing, and taking classes for Graphic Design. I want to be truly ready when it comes time to go back to work as the new me. After finding myself.
